


Caring for Your Exotic Fish: A Not-Guide to Keeping Your New Pet Sexually Satisfied (Even if She is a Rude Princess)

by buttmaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks, Eggs (but not really), F/F, Petplay, Rude ladies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 20:30:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1360753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttmaster/pseuds/buttmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Feferi wants to have some petplay. Which Jade is pretty stoked about, because heck yes, petplay. Much to Jade's chagrin, however, Feferi wants to be the pet this time. More pacifically (ba-dum-tsch), she wants to be a fish. How do you even erotically own a fish? It looks like Jade is about to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caring for Your Exotic Fish: A Not-Guide to Keeping Your New Pet Sexually Satisfied (Even if She is a Rude Princess)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bramblePatch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bramblePatch/gifts).



"Jade!" Feferi popped up out of seemingly nowhere with that shark grin plastered on her face, bumping a robotics manual out of the human girl's hands.

"Aah! What? Are you ever going to stop doing that??" Jade groused and grimaced and questioned yet again why she spent so much time with Feferi Peixes. It was a question that popped up when the fish alien princess would scare the shit out of her, which was often, or be a huge insulting asshole, which was more often. But Feferi could also be really sweet and kind and fun to be around. And Jade had gotten her way into Squiddles.

Plus, the sex was pretty amazing.

Really, what else was there to do in dreambubbles besides meet up with friends, watch movies, and hook up? But, back to the conversation at hand.

"Let's do a thing!" That grin always looked somewhere on the fence between exuberant and menacing. Her cheek fins were waggling, though, so that was a pretty good sign.

Jade grabbed her fallen book, flipped to the page she left off on, marked it, and put it aside. "A thing?"

"Yes!! A thing! Do you want to?"

"Feferi, you're going to have to be a little more specific here." Jade had a feeling what she was getting at, but it was never quite safe to assume with Feferi.

The tyrianblood rolled her eyes. Well, Jade guessed she did. It was hard to tell when they were that dead, ghosty white. But it was pretty clear there was an eyeroll. "Jade! Are you glubbing dense? A sex thing!"

Yep, spot on. "Oh!" She was about to respond when Feferi cut her off.

"You can be so dumb sometimes, Jade. I mean, what else would I be bassking for?"

It was Jade's turn to roll her eyes, her lips shifting into a shape that indicated a pretty universal sign for complete lack of amusement. "Oh, yes, insult me more. That's getting me so hot."

"Pffft." Feferi let out a giggle and turned around, flopping back onto the bed, her mass of black hair spreading like tendrils atop Jade's bed sheet. "Jokes, Jade. I'm joking. Humans are so sensitive!"

"Have you even talked to any other humans besides me??"

"Dolphinitely! I've talked to other Jades. Dead ones!" Of course she accompanied that last bit of information with spooky fingers. She knew how much Jade disliked hearing about dead Jades.

"Yes, great, Feferi. Insult me and gross me out, please. I couldn't even be any more dream aroused. Tell me the sex thing you want!!" The last part was practically barked out in frustration. The empress needed to be reeled in sometimes.

Feferi seemed to practically float off the bed, floating lazily through the air like it was water, body twisting to face Jade as she passed by her side, letting out another excited titter as she whispered into Jade's ear. "Petplay."

Now, this had Jade's attention. Dead Jades? Being called dense? The goddamn dolphin pun? All forgotten. "Really??" Jade broke into an ecstatic smile and her eyes snapped over to her wardrobe. Inside she had most definitely hid a rather well-made dog ear headband, not to mention a fluffy white dog tail buttplug, not that she'd fess up to the latter. At least not in any way that wasn't a quietly mumbled admission. Though, Feferi knew about it, so that was different.

"Hehe, easy girl!" Feferi laughed and patted Jade on the top of the head in a way that was equally endearing and condescending. "You are always the pet! Not this time! I'm filling the pet role this time!" The cheekfins were waving at full force now, puffed out in excitement. It was adorable.

If Jade had dog ears, they'd be drooping. Her biological, not-stuck-up-her-ass dog tail would give a few wags before flopping in disappointment and confusion. "So... you want to be the dog??" Emphasis on the 'you,' and incredulity on the 'dog.'

"Nooo! Jade, stop being a squidiot. Why would I be a barkbeast?" She moved to sit on the bed again, picking Jade's lap as her preferred seat, fingers laced behind the human's neck. "I don't know anyfin about them. I want to be a fish!"

Jade blinked. Feferi blinked. Jade blinked again, twice in rapid succession. Feferi's head tilted just slightly to the right, grin still plastered. Jade, well, Jade blinked some more. Her mind was trying to process the information just dropped on her lap by the girl on her lap. "A... fish?"

"Yes?! A fish! Or a cuttlefish or a seahorse or somefin. Some exotic sea life. This isn't that hard, Jade! Come on!" She punctuated with a few bounces on Jade's lap. For a dream ghost, she sure had some weight to her.

"But... a fish? What do you... what do I...?" She squinted, as if maybe that would make things clearer. "What do we do? Do I just sprinkle some food flakes on you sexily??"

That pointy-toothed grin vanished, brow furrowing as Feferi frowned, looking legitimately offended. "That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Jegus, Jade, I mean reelly!" She pushed away from Jade with a huff. "I mean, come on!"

"What?! I. People. No one. No one has sex with fish!!" There was a video Jade stumbled across once involving an eel... but how was that even applicable here??

"So?! It's not like anyone has sex with your stupid barkbeasts either!"

"Well..." Jade didn't! No, no, no! But she had read plenty, and stumbled across too much, and sometimes she really regretted diving too deeply into the wrong parts of furry art galleries. "That isn't exactly... true?"

Feferi had seen some things in her lifetime. Great aquatic beasts taken down and feasted upon. The destruction of worlds. She'd seen her own death. That is to say, she died and remembered it quite well. She'd looked into the gaping maws and atramentous, unblinking eyes of the horrorterrors, but this left her speechless. Jaw dropped in disbelief.

"No. Nope. No! Just... look. Pet ownership time, Jade. It's time to get schoolfed on the most elemantaray of subjects." Around them, Jade's room began to slowly metamorphize. The stark white of the walls began to slowly dye itself fuchsia, a cephalopod-themed purple carpet slowly pushing up out of the floor. Posters melted into nothingness, and hanging plants elongated and became metal, turning into birdcages.

Birdcages would be inaccurate, though, as many of them contained brightly colored cuttlefish, with more swimming free. Jade no longer sat on her bed, but on a mostly cleared off little desk, a majestic white seahorse an arm's length away. Her hair billowed behind her like she was underwater.

Feferi moved toward one of the cages, sticking a finger in and petting a tapered green head. "You keep them. You cage them. You take care of them and stroke them and let them wrap their appendages around your fingers. These are all reelly obvious things, Jade." Feferi turned, cooing at the small creature in the easily escapable cage.

"Maybe if you're an alien fish princess. I don't live underwater, Feferi. How do you keep forgetting this? We keep fish in little glass boxes full of gravel and plastic plants and sprinkle dried stinky flakes on them for them to eat. I have never pet a fish!"

"Glub glub glub glub! That is all I hear coming out of your dumb human mouth. You can pet a fish! Just pet a fish, Jade! That is what I'm asking."

Jade sighed, rolling her eyes and reaching out to the half-fish horse in front of her, reaching for its flowing mane. She was interrupted by the sound of a wet slap, and jolted, looking over to see a thoroughly face-palming Feferi.

"Do I have to shell everything out for you, Jade? How do I need to apploach the topic to get you to sea what I'm getting at--"

"Too many fish puns. I'm not listening to you unless you either tone down the rudeness or stop with the puns. These are my conditions, Feferi."

A big sigh. More apparent eyerolling. "Fine! Pet me. Is what I am getting at. Pet me. I'm the pet. And you should pet me!" She huffed, her cheek fins fully extended in frustration.

Jade stared. "No."

"No? You can't just say no."

"I said it. I'm saying it. No. This isn't even petplay. You're not even acting like a fish! Just a jerk! And you're still you. I mean, I have the dog ears and the tail and I put on the collar and the leash and I get into it! I mean, what do you want me to do here, just pet you and call you a good fishy? That's stupid! This is stupid! I mean you're not even naked. Fish don't wear clothes, Feferi."

The cuttlefish and seahorses all slowly faded from view and Feferi scowled, kicking her shoes off while glowering at Jade. The skirt came next, unwrapping it from around her body and just kind of letting it float in mid...water? "Here I go, Jade. Getting so nude so my sexual mantasy matches your high standards." She was down to what was essentially a black onepiece swimsuit, which she was shrugging the straps of off her shoulders immediately after.

"Okay, okay, stop. Well, don't stop. But. The talking and annoyance. Stop. I'm stopping too. We're stopping. She hopped off the desk and rolled her shoulders, looking down at the carpet, and then up at the ceiling, basically anywhere but Feferi. "I'm being unfair. I don't get the fish thing and I don't know anything about fish, and this just really isn't doing it for me in theory! I mean, I know you didn't get the dog thing! But dogs are easy. I put the stuff on and I bark and you pet me and we wrestle around and I'm a bad puppy and not allowed on the furniture, and I crawl around and we play some more and then you do the bellyrub and you rub not-quite my belly and then fast-forward some and I'm going down on you while you call me a good girl! Like, that makes sense, I guess. But I need to give this a chance." She took a deep breath. "If it helps, I'm enjoying it more now that you're getting undressed."

Jade really did enjoy Feferi's body. She was on the tall side, like Jade, but their body types were very different. Jade was built like an athlete, like someone who spent all her time running and exploring and having an outdoor life when she wasn't gardening or taking impromptu naps. She had powerful thighs and strong shoulders and a good amount of hip and... a pretty modest chest, really. Feferi though? Feferi was full and buoyant with round, smooth gray curves that just wouldn't quit.

"That... helps a little. You're still being a huge bass though." The walls around them faded, the floor givig way to sand. It was an endless blue expanse in all directions, dotted with coral structures, thick seaweed, and large formations of rock. It was clearly an ocean floor. Jade was so glad she no longer found herself instinctively panicking, body knowing well enough that this was a dream to not automatically feel she was drowning, limbs flailing as she tried to push herself to the surface. It was an embarrassing dozen times.

Jade turned away from Feferi, getting undressed herself. Unbuttoning her long skirt and sliding it down her legs before stepping out of it, taking a pair of Squiddles-patterned underwear next. That just left a t-shirt, shedding that, getting caught on both her glasses and her full head of hair. Her clothing, luckily, decided to not float away. Fully nude and ready to go, she turned back around and--

Where was she? Did she bail? And just leave Jade on the ocean floor... wonderful. She sighed, bending down to scoop her clothes back up. And then she saw it. A flash of gray and pink. Were those her arms? What was she holding?

"The hell?" Jade squinted, lifting her glasses before setting them back down, a pair of troll arms poking out from under a large rock, waving a pair of bright tyrian scarves. It looked like an alcove had been dug out beneath the rock. Jade approached. "Feferi?"

The only response she got was a sudden rumbly grunting.

"Feferi! Are you okay?"

More grunting... a low growl, almost a purr. The scarves shook and swayed in what Jade imagined was supposed to be an enticing manner.

"What... what the hell is..."

Feferi (it had to be her) grunted with increasing intensity.

"No, stop. Time out. What is this???" Jade motioned both hands at the rock, and then at Feferi, and then at the scarves. The motions were ineffective, given that the one she communicated with was under said rock. She dropped down to the sandy floor. "Fef--oh!" She was not expecting to practically ram her face into the sea troll's curvaceous ass. She also wasn't expecting Feferi to let out an even more powerful grunt. "Why!"

The scarves slowed as Feferi looked over her shoulder, horns tapping uncomfortably on the underside of the rock. She gave a wince, then ducked her head so she could turn around. "Why what? Jade, this is... pretty obvious. You dabsolutely have to be joking."

Jade blinked, ignoring the fish pun for now. That was all Feferi was getting out of her.

"Shello?? I'm ready to mate? This is my display?? I am luring you in!! Jegus, Jade! How could this--" She emphasized the this with a shaking of her ass, and again (though quicker and out of frustration) the scarves, "--be any clearer??"

"Excuse me? Sorry, you just don't usually hide under a rock and make gross grunting sounds at me! Pardon my confusion, assprincess!"

"Because I'm not usually a fish!!!" That usually was completely bubbling over with sarcastic emphasis, those long u's being way longer than necessary.

"Touche." Jade sagged, before just sitting her ass up on the sand. This wasn't working. Feferi could tell though, and realized maybe it was time to switch tactics. She crawled out from under the rock, scooting over to sit next to her friend and sometimes lover and... prod her in the shoulder. And again. And then she nudged softly against Jade with her own. She'd start to move to her feet...

Jade turned her head, looking up at Feferi... just in time for Feferi's palm to press against her face, and right before Feferi decided to shove her down toward the sand. Not expecting it, she went down hard, looking up to see Feferi... a good five feet away, poised to run.

The human girl pushed herself back up into a sitting position, spitting out a mouthful of wet sand, and threw her arms up into an aggressive shrug. "What was that?! I need an explanation, Feferi! Please fill me in on what the hell you were doing just then!"

The troll responded by approaching with a grin, leaning down, and... shoving Ms. Harley again, who managed to catch herself with her palms. "Shit!" She sat back up and scrambled to her feet, just in time to catch a hard check to her chest before Feferi scrambled away, grinning all the while.

Jade, understandably, was furious. She pushed up to her feet, and with an enraged yell, sprung after Feferi (who Jade could swear quietly whispered 'yes!!!' when she took off after her), chasing her across the sand.

Feferi was excited enough, weaving and circling, jumping back in to try and push at and shove Jade, the human dodging and blocking, reaching for Feferi and trying to grab whatever she could.

And then Feferi went down, grinning with excitement as Jade pinned her down by the arms, the human breathing heavily atop her. The troll girl's face fins fluttered in anticipation and she let out a few excited glubs.

Jade, meanwhile, was seething mad. Seeing red. She didn't like being shoved and pushed around, by any stretch of the imagination. Though her expression slowly melted into one of confusion, eyebrow lifting as her breathing evened out. Oh.

"This... this is another fish thing, isn't it?"

Feferi's excitement faded. "Oh. Yes. So, you didn't know? You were legitimanatee chasing me?? Oh, come the glub on!" Feferi threw her arms in the air, or at least tried to, forgetting that Jade had her pinned down... winding up with an aggressively jerky shrug. "Do you know how many fish initiate mating that way, Jade????"

"No!! Nooo I don't!" Jade took a breath, getting off of Feferi, just thinking. "Okay. Alright. I... I've got it. I see the problem, Feferi, okay?"

"Okray."

"You're doing fish mating things, right? As in... things fish do to get other fish to have fish sex?"

"Uh... duh?" Arms crossed, eyeroll, puffed out huffy cheeks.

"Feferi. I'm not a fish!" Jade sounded happy about it, the anger finally gone.

"Yes... and...?"

"I'm not a fish, Feferi! This is pet play!!! You're trying to woo a fish. When I'm a dog I don't go around pushing my crotch up in the air at you and or peeing all over everything to tell you I want to breed! I mean, that's how a dog and a dog go at it! I'm not smacking you with my arms and sniffing your face and asking you to sniff my ass area. So you shouldn't expect me to follow fish courting rituals if I'm supposed to be human and you're a fish!"

Feferi stared, letting the information sink in. "How do you know so much about barkbeast mating?"

"I watch a lot of Animal Planet!! This isn't even the point! The point is..." Jade grinned, standing up tall and looking down at Feferi, who had not yet stood. "I am your owner, and you are my fish, and we're going to act like it!" She gave an authoritative nod. Feferi, appreciating Jade's spunk and determination, agreed readily and hopped to her feet.

"Where to, then?"

Jade raised her eyebrows. "The bathtub." Feferi nodded, and the ocean floor turned to tile, walls pushing up from nothingness, coral and rocks morphing and moving, chipping away to reveal smooth white porcelain and metallic fixtures. As soon as there was a bathtub with a faucet in place, Jade strode to it, turning the knob and letting it fill with water. "Have to get the habitat ready for my cute little swimmer, yes I do." Jade considered rustling up some gravel and maybe some big plasticy plantlife. Maybe whip up a plastic deep sea diver. But really, did Feferi even c--no, that's unfair. This was Feferi's fantasy and she deserved to have it done well, since she went along with Jade's need for weird dog things. A quick scrounging around in the aether of the dreambubble (god, what wondrous things... a realm of endless possibilities, reall...) and soon the tub has a thin layer of pink stone, and she set up fake plants and even a brass diving helmet around the bathroom! "Okay... and... in!!!"

Feferi looked suspicious, but clearly this fishy petplay wasn't going to get anywhere if the both of them didn't compromise. Realistically, it wasn't like it was Jade's fault that she was too ignorant and unadvanced to grasp the finer points of Alternian undersea sea life ownership. And, as Jade was eager to remind her of, Feferi certainly had her moments of not understanding human culture. Such as when she pointed out how tiny Jade's bulge was, and was insulted at how it wouldn't grow impressively. Apparently this was called a clit-or-is. Also, the whole thing where their beds weren't just pods full of slime. Feferi still didn't get that. Just a soft rectangle with sheets. It was comfortable, sure, but not suitable for sleeping.

So, Feferi eased herself into the water, causing Jade to jump in alarm, rushing to turn it off as Archimedes' principle kicked into full effect, water sloshing over the edge of the tub and falling onto the floor with a splooshing splash. Jade snorted before busting out into a laugh, and Feferi soon followed suit. At least the mood had improved.

Feferi kept her legs clamped together like a fishtail as she submerged herself beneath the surface. She popped up though, long enough to say "no fish food flakes!" before plunging beneath once more.

Jade grinned and nodded, slipping her fingers into the water and wiggling them a bit before stroking them through Feferi's mane of hair, pulling it back uniformly so she could get a look at her pet fish. No grunting, no scarf dances, no bodyslamming. Not even any weird cages. Just a girl in a bathtub pretending to be a fish and Jade herself... petting her. People pet fish though sometimes. Right? Aquariums had those big tanks where you could pat a little sting ray or hold a starfish. People swam with dolphins. This was like erotic Sea World. Jade could get behind erotic Sea World.

She moved to lightly caress Feferi, moving from her shoulder down along her back, moving to her side, petting her as her wrist moved fluidly through the water. "Who's a good fish? So exotic and pretty, and probably the... best fish there is..." Okay, so, the talking part was still kind of hard. Because, well, pet fish. But, Jade was trying.

Feferi appreciated the effort, pushing against Jade's roving hand, rolling onto her side so the hand stroked down her belly and across her thigh. She felt her cheeks turning pink as her slick, slippery bulge began to emerge with her growing pleasure, thin strings of tyrian lubricant dissolving into the water, slightly tinting the area immediately around her like a bubblegum bodywash or particularly pretty bath beads.

Jade grinned. This was what she liked to see. She smiled, moving her hand toward it and stopping. "Oh! What do we have here, Feferi? Some kind of strange fin? I didn't notice this before." She quirked a brow as Feferi blushed darker, more of her bulge emerging.

Jade's fingers lingered closer before petting down her legs instead. "This would be easier in something bigger. Like a hot tub or a swimming pool." She mused to herself. "Or a koi pond! Next time, right?"

Feferi just kind of glubbed and fluttered her cheek fins, rolling and moving the best she could in the tub, water splashing out against Jade as she pushed against that petting hand affectionately. For being confined in such a small space, Feferi still managed to move with underwater fluidity, which Jade liked. She looked so graceful. Jade showed her appreciation for this aquatic acrobatic act by touching Feferi on the rump, cupping a nice handful and giving a squeeze.

Bubbles pushed from Feferi's mouth to the surface, surprised by the grope. Her back arched and she shoved her curvaceous, full rump against those digits, letting out a burbly, muffled moan. Jade dropped to a stage whisper, leaning in over the water. "Since when do fish moan, Feferi?"

The troll's cheeks tinted even darker and she gave an adorable scowl before splashing Jade with a wave of water, enough to shift her glasses and mat down much of her hair. Jade sputtered and coughed a bit and smacked Feferi's ass with a quick spank. Well, she tried. She mostly spanked the surface of the water, and was slowed down by the liquid itself. This is what happens when one hits water with an open palm. It is a dumb idea and doesn't accomplish much of anything.

Feferi broke character with a laugh and popped her head above the water. "You don't spank a fish, doofish!"

"Maybe trolls don't!" Jade was dripping wet, and not even in the erotica way. She gave the most insincere glare she could muster.

"Do humans?!" Cue the most scandalized look possible from Feferi. Spanking fish sounded absolutely barbaric. How could anyone spank a fish?!

"Well, no... I mean, not that I've ever heard of." She was caught red-handed. After all, she had been slapping water. It was wont to happen. "But, um, when do you want to make this more... you know, sexual? Because I have no idea what exactly to do that isn't just groping and petting you. And even groping is kind of a stretch when it comes to fish! I mean, I could spank you with a little net or something."

"Maybe fish ownership makes you really aroused? Maybe you could just kind of... touch yourself a little, thinking about your hot exotic fish and you get some signals from me that I want to do things?" Feferi raised her eyebrows at the word 'signals' and pointed her chin bulgeward, which gave a small curl and a wave, as if it knew it was being talked about.

"That's wei--fine, we can do that, sure!" Jade smiled, compromising more. It was all give and take, especially if she wanted to get to the best give and take. "I already think you're totally hot, so, I can transfer that over to wanting to get freaky with my fish!!" Jade beamed and gave a nod, waiting for Feferi to submerge again.

Which, she did, rolling onto her back, her tentacle-like bulge breaching the water's surface. Jade blushed. A legitimate, actual blush, and hovered her fingers around it. "Mmm, I don't think this is a fin." Jade moved to caress the pink member, it curling around her fingers as soon as she did so. Her other hand moved to Feferi's thigh, petting softly. "I think you're trying to tell me something." Nobody was caught in a well, though.

"What a... sexy fish I have." Jade stroked that bulge slowly, wrapping her fingers around it and starting to pump, watching as pinkish fluid ran down into the water. "Every aquarium envies me so much for getting my hands on this beautiful specimen!"

Jade's free hand crept up her thigh, fingers poised at her well-lubricated nook, sliding two of her digits in to that bright pink opening, smiling as Feferi tensed up and let out another bubbly moan.

"Yes! I... hmm..." Jade just trailed off as she realized she lacked any kind of fishy innuendo or relevant roleplaying. She really should pay more attention when Feferi makes fish puns. Wordplay would be so appropriate right now. Jade pressed against the tub, leaning against it for support while she got to work.

All ten fingers were slick with Feferi's arousal and tap water in no time at all. Feferi cooed and moaned and let her fins flutter, eyes closing. It was so obvious as her muscles tensed and gave small little spasms that she was approaching her peak. Her body was flushed, and not in the terrible sense of those words usually involved with a pet fish. She was clearly enjoying herself. Which made Jade even more surprise when her gray hands slid down and pushed Jade away from her.

Feferi reared up out of the water, getting on her knees and leaning against Jade, suddenly pressing wet kisses on her athletic tummy and down, between her thighs. She gazed up at Jade, still silent, her movements still so inhuman... more accurately untroll... arms at her sides, legs still together. Feferi moved between her thighs, pressing against Jade's admittedly wet-and-not-just-from-getting-splashed sex, kissing at her lips, her nose pushing near her clit.

Jade gasped, hand moving down to stroke through Feferi's long hair, sighing as Feferi tilted her head, pressing her lips around Jade's swelling clit and sucking softly like a suckerfish. Flicking her tongue across that sensitive nub, pushing against it and circling it, Jade's grip in that wild mane of hair tightening, pressing against Feferi's face. "Aah! I... ooh! Mmm, clean that... uh. Treat me like... treat me like an aquarium wall! Get that algae!" This was horrible dirty talk but Jade didn't care. Feferi didn't seem to either.

Jade found herself wishing Feferi was not being a fish, since her arms were being useless fins and she was basically just resorting to flopping and using her mouth. Luckily, Jade had hands of her own, her free hand moving to her chest, pinching a nipple between thumb and forefinger, tugging softly before just cupping her breast, moaning out. Meanwhile, Feferi was wishing she was using her hands as well, her nook needy and her bulge practically aching. She tried to get relief against the tub wall, but nothing was particularly happening. Besides, not everything was even completely in place...

Feferi shifted and pushed her tongue up into Jade, teasing between those lips, nose pressed against a patch of dark pubic hair. She moaned at the feel, the taste, the scent of the human. So alien. So wonderful. She had been shown the human movie, The Little Mermaid, on one of their other meetings... and it was true. Everything was better down where it's wetter. Jade responded by pressing against her face.

"Mm, ohh, fuck, Feferi! That's a good fish. So close! Just a little more." Jade's skin was damp with water and sweat, going a bit red in places as her legs trembled against the tub, tapping against it as her hand moved from Feferi's hair to wrap around a horn for support. This caused Feferi to let out a surprised groan and bury herself further into her lover. Her bulge slapped against the tub wall wetly and Feferi rolled her hips, suddenly but reluctantly pulling it back.

She sighed out a lungful of air and whimpered, wanting to continue, but wanting it to be right. "Jade, I know you wanted to not do fish mating, but... I reelly need this! I want us to milt on my roe!"

Jade blinked a few times, hand sliding off of her breast, the other moving to the wall to assure she stayed standing. Were those puns? "Were those puns? I'm not... upset, I just... I don't know what you're saying."

"No, no no!" Feferi shook her head. "Just fish things. I... hold on." Feferi dove into what was basically her dream sylladex and brought out two handfuls of pink rubbery orbs. "Roe!"

Jade stared, her body yelling at her to finish up, but she was unable to pay it much mind. "Are those... eggs???"

"Yes! Well, not reel ones! They're just silicone! But that's what fish do when they mate, Jade. The female lays eggs and the male just gets his milt all over them!"

"Okay, that, I actually knew..." Again, Animal Planet.

"Oh, good! So we can!"

"Feferi, I don't... milt. Is milt even a verb? I don't think it's a verb. But either way, I mean... how? What?" Jade was trying so hard to keep an even head and an open mind.

"Well, I mean, I know. Duh, no shit, Jade. But, we could just mutually bassturbait over them. Or one of us could take them inside, push them out, and then the other could--" Feferi visibly wilted slightly. "I don't know. I could never find anemonebody would try this with me! I know how weird it is."

Jade thought. She was good with ideas. "Okay, so, it's not ideal, and breaks the fishplay some. But maybe we could have sex over the eggs. Your bulge in me. And then pull out and then... you know, fertilize them?" Jade was embarrassed. This was embarrassing. Weirdly arousing, but also embarrassing. Fucking over some fake eggs. This is what her sex life was now. No way would she even go for th--

"Yes! That works!" Feferi turned around and dropped the rubber orbs inside the tub, then motioned to Jade. "Just get overtop of them!" Jade was shocked. Shocked this was actually happening. But she still get on her hands and knees, mindful of the probably slippery balls under the water, bracing one hand against the wall as Feferi moved behind her, what water that was left in the tub sloshing and pink-stained around them. Her bulge flopped damply against Jade's toned behind and Feferi guided it the best she could without use of her currently-acting-as-flippers-and-thus-not-really-doing-anything hands and pressed it to Jade's sex. Miss Harley bit her lip and held back an expectant moan, eager for Feferi to take her. Particularly exotic fish needed special kinds of relief sometimes.

Feferi slipped in, pushing into Jade's wet, tight, warm tunnel, her muscles squeezing at that bulge, tensing and relaxing around that thick tentacle. The human moaned and shuddered, back arching. She'd been waiting for this. Through it all. The failed mating dances. The arguing. The gravel. Well, there was still gravel. She was kneeling in it. She'd worry about the unpleasantness of that later on. All that mattered right now is that they were finally having sex. Good sex.

Feferi leaned overtop of her, nipping and sucking on the back of Jade's neck, on her shoulder, anywhere she could. She breathed warm gusts of air over her skin, though they felt cool on the dampness coating her. That writhing member slid in and out, pumping that thin precursor to genetic material, and Jade felt a heat growing in her stomach. A pit of pleasure forming. She bit harder into her lip and gave a muffled cry of frustration, wanting more and wanting it now, bucking back against her lover.

Feferi thrusted harder, faster, her head swimming with pleasure. This was unusual behavior for the animal she was emulating but she had to put that aside. Mostly because it felt really good. Besides, maybe she was an undiscovered species. They would have to go with that. The Empress Witchfish had a nice ring to it. The Deepwater Tyrian Cuttle. The... oh, okay, no more of that. Feferi groaned as she felt her legs tense, her bulge twitch and swell. She couldn't last any longer. Jade could feel it too. They moaned in chorus, shuddering together, Feferi clamping her teeth on Jade's shoulder to quiet herself... though it only made the human moan louder. And then...

Thick gushes of bright fuchsia pumped from her bulge and ran from her nook, flowing into Jade, spurting into her. After a few uncontrollable thrusts, she pulled out, letting the thick liquid sink down atop her eggs, more running out from Jade, mingled with her own nectar. Jade put a hand up near the faucet, bracing herself, head tilted back fully as she took a few ragged breaths, riding out her orgasm, hips giving a few rolls.

And then, a minute later, they were recovered. Sweaty and hot and a complete mess. Jade had moved to sit on the side of the tub, carefully, atop a soaked-through towel, and Feferi stretched idly in the water while it drained. Luckily dream plumbing didn't care about the pieces of gravel going along for the ride. The water could just be disappeared entirely, but it felt nicer this way for some reason.

"Well, we did it." Jade smiled, looking a bit uncertain. "Was it okay?"

"Eventually, but it dolphinately took some work. You really have to be coraled into doing things sometimes." Feferi grinned.

"Yeah. But now we know, right? Next time though, let's get a bigger tub."

"Oh! And some fins for me! Maybe a mermaid tail??"

Jade brightened up. "Yes!!! Oh my god you could be like Princess Jewelscale from the season three finale!" Jade gasped. "Can we do Squiddles cosplay sex soon?! We're doing it!"

Feferi made a news very close to pffffft and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, shore. But we're doing this again too."

"Fine! Okay! It's great now that I know what we're doing! We'll make it better!!"

And they knew they would. Though, undoubtedly, there'd be some more hang-ups along the way. And yelling. So much rude as hell yelling.


End file.
